WOooHoOoo Wednesday!!!

Yes! I abso-freakin-lutely YHEARTY FOUR day weeks!! and two in a row, i am truely blessed! hehe
and, on top of that, 2 days in a row around 70 degrees... weeee!
my mood has really turned around too... I went and worked out today, jogged 4 miles... I feel freakin GREAT... AND we have less than a month until we close on our HOUSE!! OUR house. BEST DAY EVER!

cept, I can't get ahold of my friend, I've tried calling her a few times since Saturday, but noone is calling me back and I am worried. if you are reading this, you need to call me so i know you are doing ok. OK? otherwise i am going to keep leaving you harassing messages on your "brilliant" machine. GOT IT???

right on

:P

I need a new job. bad. grrrrrr. anyway- umm. hmm. OH YEAH!
Today DH and I put in an offer on a house!! I am totally stoked! it's so cute and perfect for a starter home. i am totally excited. it's a 2 bedroom house with a big "bonus" room/ loft and a screened in porch. and a GARAGE!!! way cute! it's got a great front porch and it's a corner lot, so it has a good size yard (for indianapolis- it seems like all the yards around here are dinky)
YEAH!!! I am so esssited. I'll keep you updated...

Thank goodness I'm not Fartstipated anymore!

Last week, i ate a bad burrito, and it lodged itself in my stomach for what seemed like days... I told my dearest hubby that I couldn't even fart... so I made up this word:

1. Fartstipated
adj : have difficult or incomplete or infrequent evacuation of fart gases.
adj: when you have to fart, but nothing comes out.
stomach may become very bloated with methane gas during this time, best solution is to wait it out, beware of stench afterwards.
Damn, I haven't farted in 2 hours, I must be fartstipated.

he tried to tell me it didn't make any sense...

I can't wait darnit...

Oh- AND ONE MORE THING

I HATE IT WHEN MY STINKY McSTINKERTON HUSBAND WON'T LET ME PLAY WITH HIS DAMN NIPPLES....

what am I thinking....

today was a shitty ass day. this week has been like that poop that no matter how many times you wipe your ass, it never goes away. for reasons i don't want to go into, and others that i'll be glad to over embellish.
reason number uno:
well, today i got cussed out by a parent because he doesn't know how to handle his damn kid. let me explain. supposedly this kid is "bipolar" fine. special needs, whatever. does that really give him the right to literally put is hands around another childs neck and choke him? give me a freakin break, bro. but, Yes. the Morons admins running the offiCe will let him get Away with anything. But, I can recieve a write up for no giving them enough notice for my DC class. thats a bunch of BS if you ask me.
well, i guess that's really the only reason I have right now. let me sit on it for a minute... i am sure i can drum something else up....

I have a case of the Mondays....

I HATE monday... But i guess i should think of it this way: it's really Tuesday- I don't have to work on Friday, so I only have 3 days left this week!!! Thank the Almighty for that. Yizzeah!

I had my annual review with the Y-aM i such a dirty whore-CA today. I was really pissed when I left there. but you know what? they can kiss my arse. I'll be outta there in a few months anyway. bastards.

So, anyone who wants to hire me, I am accepting applications for new bosses starting TODAY!

WTF. Right. -----> i am sooooo bored. my hubby is working a different shift this week, so he's not home yet. no me gusta. I hate sitting at home alone. BORING.

GRRRRR

I know i complain a lot about my job- i hate it, really really do, but I am learning about what kind of parent NOT to be:
I just received a call from a parent complaining because we don't make her daughters do homework on fridays. She wants us to make her kids (who never do anything other than homework except for fridays) do their homework while everyone else is either outside or playing a dodgeball tournament! It just pisses me off. these kids don't have a chance to socialize. I will never do that to my kids. yes, they'll get their stuff done, but they will have a chance to spend time with their friends too. RI-DICKLE-OUS.... sheeesh.

on a happy note:
Today is the 6 month-iversary of our wedding!! I am soo excited, it seems like it was forever ago (in a good way) I'll have to update that later... hehehe

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY!!!!

AHHH, I LOVE IT! How many years ago was it that we all got trashed on lemon drops, tequila rose and crown royal (damn clyde, it's all his fault. corrupting us innocent kids)? geez, i am not sure i should have survived that night :) the best was finding my bestest friend, puking her guts out downstairs- with her future hubby holding her hair back (awww, isn't that sweeet!)... of course, my future hubby held my hair back too that night.

I'll never forget going home and trying to play off that I wasn't drunk- while my parents were watching Sopranos. "wwaaoooww, daaad, I waaatch thaat showww twooo! caan youu belieeve itt?" hehehe, totally didn't pull it off. I am such a light weight.
remember going to Chili's a couple of years ago? that was great too. Man, I wish i were home for St. Patty's Day.

Ahhh, what great memories...

here I am in all of my green glory:


HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

Something I HATE.... and something I LOVE

Other than Indiana's Weather:

when this dumbass president interrupts my daily routine. stoopid man broke in during ELLEN! HOW DARE HE!!! ooooh, it pisses me off like no other. and then, I try to give him the benefit of the doubt and listen to him- but it's sooo unbearable.WTF is he talking about??? it makes my head spin. *GEEZ*

BUT I am TOTALLY stoked that tomorrow is ST. PATTY's DAY!! freakin LOVE St. Patrick's Day! (and also my old boyfriend, YBilly Corgan'sY Birthday, Happy Birthday Billy-Boy!) You better believe I'll be in my green! I'll post the annual picture that my hubby takes of me in my get-up.
Alright, I am off to buy the Incredibles and Modest Mouse.
Bonnaroooooooooo!

Fart ( P )(färt) Vulgar Slang intr.v. fart·ed, fart·ing, farts
To expel intestinal gas through the anus; break wind.
To fool around; fritter time away.
n. An often audible discharge of intestinal gas.
An annoying or foolish person.

why is it that i am soo obsessed?

qué en el infierno...

Quiero al pedo. me hace me río tontamente. espero no huele. ¿Querría usted olerlo?

it's Friday at last, it's Friday at last...

this week started out so fast, and then seemed to come to a screeching halt yesterday around 3:30... oh, it has taken FOR-EV-ERRR

Today has been good though, for the most part. 'cept for the fact that it is SNOWING... AGAIN. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE INDIANA WEATHER. HEHEHE
right on...

So HI for the day is that, after (hmm lets seeee sept, oct, nov, dec, jan, feb, MARCH!) SEVEN G-Damn months, (and only 2 months left after this) I finally earned Site Director of the Month. for what? throwing a fit and telling them I'll quit, basically :)
See, sometimes it does pay to throw a temper tantrum, although i totally freakin deserve it. they'll miss me when I am gone.

I'll leave you with this:
Would you rather....
superglue your eyes open
OR
superglue your eyes shut?

oh, and PS---> three months from now, we will be totally rockin' out at BONNAROO

ahhh, turdsday, gotta love it...

Summer Thyme, and the living's easy.... sorry, i couldn't help myself.
here's my latest piece:

ODE to TURDSDAY
Because of you, my week is better
as you wrap me in your arms...
the thought of you mesmorizes me, since
you are the day that brings me Friday.
and you sound like a bowel movement.

FIN.

you can never go wrong with a turd. ahhhh.

HI: I almost peed my pants (yet again) at work today, playing UNO with a kindergartener... i want my kids to be just like Jack-o-lantern - HE'S SOOO FREAKIN CUTE. and I totally nailed a kid with a dodgeball... damn that felt good.

LO: hmmm. today was an all around good day, other than the fact that IT WAS COLDER THAN A WELL DIGGERS POOFOOOOT... heheh, that saying makes me giggle every time i hear it. poofooot. ha.

Dearest sundog,

why in the hell did you just tell the entire world that i just farted???? WTF were you thinking? did you not realize that my feelings are on the line?????? GEEEEZZZ

anywhoo, i bet you are glad that you weren't here when i let it out, it was totally nasty. you would have been proud. and i am sorry that your nose bled... perhaps it was my fart that crawled through the phone and ripped at your nose hairs???

it could happen.

would you rather.....
make your living manufacturing
sex toys
OR
guns
i'd go for the sex toys myself...
be dating someone who insists that every electric device in both of your homes to be controlled by those "clap on, clap off" devices
OR
that every piece of furniture be covered in plastic

zobmondo rocks babyyyy...

Crazy weeeek

man, this has been insane...
HI: I got to skip a day of work because I have strep throat! sweeeet.
ummmmm... we got our finished wedding album in the mail, it kicks major ass.
hm. welllll.... it's FRIDAY and the sun was out 3 days in a row (a new indiana record)
I am so into this book Middlesex right now, i totally suggest it to anyone, it's crazy but great. full of incest and kissing cousins (for some reason I am drawn to nastiness like that). GRRRR-REAT

LO: well, i am sick and on antibiotics that make me fart like crazy. i have never smelled this bad in my entire life. totally rank.
my mom almost died this week... her damn smoking just about got the best of her...
it's supposed to SNOW tomorrow. what the crap is with that? (indiana sucks, that's what)

Wowsa...

Alright, I am at home being a total bum between shifts, watching Ellen (My must see show each day)
She just totally freaked my freak.... If you have read about the little boy who made the bumperstickers "Frank Must Die/Frank is Dead" to pay to have his tumor removed .... anyway it was his birthday and she flew them out (he and his parents) and gave him roundtrip airfare to cedar pointe, and KISS!!! his fave band ever, came out to celebrate with him.
I was totally floored. I think that is the most awesome thing ever.... I had goosebumps all over.