a new me.

today, i cutted alll my hairs off. and i feel so much lighter. 8 inches off, and for a moment, it felt like all the stress i have been swimming in just drained away.

but now i am just sitting here waiting for D to get home. i am soo excited for him to see the new me. i am so happy, because i'll be starting work on turdsay, and that means i won't be sitting alone. all day long.

things have been a little weird for me lately. i don't know if i am just looking for something, or if things are not right. I am trying to get back into shape. i don't want to lose weight, just look good. i haven't been happy with that aspect of me for a while. i think maybe it has affected our relationship. i just want to be with him. if its cuddling on the couch, sitting on the front porch together, or something else. that's all i want. have i pushed him to far?

every freakin movie or show i watch has totally turned me into a blubbering baby. yesterday, i watched the notebook. (which by the way, i wanted to hate. all the hype, made me not want to like it. but i am buying the moment i get paid. oh my god what that a great movie.) i have never cried at a movie sooo much. i am making D watch it. although, not tonight--- dead like me is on.

hmmm. i just want to be happy again. normal. me.