only slightly depressing...

I hate what's going on right now so much. i hate being in the middle of things, even though neither one of them is trying to put me in the middle. I hate that it'll never be the same when i go home. I hate that I am so far away. I really hate that this might actually be the best thing.

I feel weird calling either one of them right now. I don't know what I am supposed to do. I guess I never really thought anything like this would happen (or really hoped it wouldn't).

crap.